My earliest memories have been dismissed as child’s play, and I was told boys don’t play that way.
Still, I am Trans.
I watched as adults and peers laughed as male performers made folly of femininity. I think to myself, I can’t be that.
Still, I am Trans.
I learned not to cross gender boundaries for fear of a damnation that I would surely visit. I hid away and found inner peace being enfemme only in private.
Still, I am Trans.
I learned my body would betray me, so I tried to stop everything and failed. I watched as my brother risked electric shock for being something they called “gay”.
Still, I am Trans.
I saw talk shows try to expose beautiful women as frauds and as traps. I continued to hide for years, for decades, finding my solace only under wraps.
Still, I am Trans.
I became depressed and knew not why. My only reprive, doing something they told me was evil in his eye.
Still, I am Trans.
I hated myself, my parents, and my god because something went wrong. I plead, Why am I odd?
Still, I am Trans.
I sought to stop through books and doctors and therapists and a great deal more. I even bargained with various gods.
Still, I am Trans.
I accepted it, I am different. I want to feel whole. I’ve begun a transition. I truly just want to be me.
Still, I am Trans.
I fear constantly the loss of friends, of family, and my spouse. I am dead to some but am I not just living?
Still, I am Trans.
I hear honorifics and pronouns that don’t match who I am in my soul. They tear at my very being. Why can’t I feel whole?
Still, I am Trans.
I see the politicians and the religions making policies and laws to outlaw my existence. Why can’t they just love others as their gods ask?
Still, I am Trans.
I see my trans siblings mistreated, beaten, raped, and murdered. I mourn them.
Still, I am Trans.
I speak out. I am here. This is me. I fear being killed and erased. I fear retribution, and persecution for just being me.
Still, I am Trans.
If they succeed and I die, will I be required to be someone and something I’m not?
Still, I am Trans.
I’ve done and seen all of these things. I am happier and more self-content than I’ve ever been and why?
Because you see, Still, I am Trans.